A dead-set, sensory feista for the “Put
a coupla bucks on it”-set tonight on tele.
Down at channel 7, in the Bingoplex
(their name for it, not mine), was the heated gambling competition that all of
us could be involved in – provided we had access to the internet, in order to
download our very own bingo card.
I’m feeling a government cross-promotion here what
with the pollies push for us all to have fast broadband. Perhaps not so
surprising, as the gov. makes a lot of money from the Australian national pastime
of weighing up options, then letting luck decide that we won’t win anyway.
The Bingoplex was filled with very excited people
vying to win what I consider to be fairly small amounts of money – not at all
commensurate with their excitement level.
I’d love to be there.
Host…. “So, Jacs, What will you do if you
win the $10000???”
Me…. “Well. I was thinking of finding a
rather large trumpet, inserting it into my rectum, and blowing it out my
ass”
Host…. “No mortgage repayments? New car?
Education fund?”
Me…. “Nup. Blow it out my ass.”
Curiously, or perhaps not, we were informed that
those playing at home had a 1 in 1000 chance of winning $100. From there, they
could go into a draw to win $10000. What caught my attention was the fact that
our perky host knew there were 1000 potential winning game cards.
The thick plottens, me thinks.
You see. Bingo is a supposedly random game where
balls are randomly chosen from a tumbling random ball selector machine thingy.
Anyway, it’s supposed to be
random.
But how can it be random when they know how many
game cards are winners???????
Over at camp channel 9, there was a different
competition going down – with much higher stakes. The great debate between Kev
and Johnny was in full swing, but just to keep the punters (and I mean
that in all it’s literal terms) happy, there was the ‘worm’. A constantly
moving approval graph, controlled by I don’t know who.
Who won? I don’t know. I’m too scared to
watch.
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